Prayer in Parenthood

Throughout the last few months so many emotions have bombarded me.

The uncertainty and injustice that has been the highlight of every news article has frightened me at times concerning the prospect of bringing a child into it all.

In July I thought “ just one more month there will be a child in our arms, and my husband and I will have the responsibility of guarding her and training her to guard others.”

Now she is sleeping in my arms, much of this article I wrote back in June, but 6 months later I feel just the same. 

My heart faints within me as I think of the magnitude of everything around us: of the pain, hurt, and sickness in the world, I want to cry out, how will I ever keep my daughter safe amidst all of this?

Yet I consider the many other generations throughout history, the Jewish women who have raised children, whether it was Moses' mother in Egypt or women in the wake of the Holocaust, how much more terrifying the times have been than this. How much light children have brought into the world in times of oppressive darkness. 

As Christmas songs still reverberate in our minds and the generosity of friends and family are still finding homes or being pulled out of its boxes, I can’t help contemplating the lines of O Come O Come Emmanuel, I have always loved the verses we neglect to sing best, such as the second verse:

O come, Thou Wisdom, from on high,
and order all things far and nigh;
to us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go.

 What will training our daughter in righteousness & wisdom bring forth to those she will meet? Will she be equipped to assist in compassion those who are hurting? Will she see that all people are created in G-d's image and deserve respect, love, and freedom?

Our hearts yearn to know that we will teach these things accurately, effectively to her. That she would have the tools in her to celebrate the diversity of people different from herself and give glory to G-d for His creativity. That she will be a peacemaker. A daughter of light in the days of weary darkness. 

Love casts out all fear, and as we Love G-d we force the fears that gripped us to loose their grip on us. I cannot spend time before G-d, humbled by His power and mercy and then be unmerciful to others. If I am pursuing His example of loving-kindness, even unto death because of my willful disobedience which required His blood to reconcile, how can I then consider myself in some way superior to any other person?

Nothing humbled me more this year as I was singing Christmas carols with my husband’s family feeling powerless to bring the gospel power to the family members we both have who do not believe in Him. The hope of eternity has been such a strong support and refuge to me this year, and has been highlighted more boldly in my life since the fire in 2018. But I was grieved by all my thwarted efforts to see the salvation of people I love so much. Add to that the unknown prospects of my daughter, the responsibility I feel for her. 

The lyrics we sang together answered the prayer within, it is His might which saves, He is King, He can defend His own name, and all things are known by Him. He is not surprised or startled by the events of 2020. He is not disappointed or paralyzed in ministry to the lost and unbelieving, many of the disappointments I have experienced might be part of the plan He has. 

As Job declared, Even if He kills me, I will hope in Him. (Job 13:15, HCSB) 

This year has been a hard one to stay hopeful in, even if other years and ages have had it worse than us, many things we believed were certain were disturbed or canceled. Still, it is good to Hope. 

My prayer as a parent is that no matter what happens as my daughter grows up in this world, that she will praise the L-rd and trust in Him. That she will love those who are hard to love and that she will be a bold defender of the gospel and that her life will be one of purity and grace. That she will acknowledge her powerlessness and need for the Almighty  G-d, that He will guard her and be near to her all the days of her life. 

Nevertheless, we have this hope, that G-d sent His Son, we are righteous in Him through the excruciating sacrifice of Himself on our behalf, we are raised to life with Him, victorious over sin and death. He will return and we will be made like Him, incorruptible. 

Happy New Years my friends,

Fix your goals this year on the work of Heaven.